Ex-cavating the Truth: Our Most Vulnerable Couple’s Quiz Yet!

Hey everyone! If you caught our latest YouTube episode, you know we just dove into some pretty revealing territory with “The Ex Files” – episode two of our couples quiz series. For those who missed it (or just prefer reading to watching), we thought we’d break down some of the highlights and reflections from our conversation about past relationships.

What Did We Cover?

Our episode followed a simple format – trading questions about our exes that range from the funny to the slightly awkward. As always, we kept our “one pass” rule in place (though surprisingly, neither of us needed it this time!).

The Little Things That Drove Us Crazy

Ever had something about your partner that drove you absolutely mad but you never mentioned it? Bo confessed to hating the way an ex dressed (though it took some time to admit it!), while RaeRae shared how an ex would constantly walk several meters ahead of her. That’s right – literally leaving her behind while walking together! Though she eventually did speak up about it, it took longer than it should have.

“They would walk like 2 meters in front of me… I did tell them actually, but I told them a little bit late into the relationship.” – RaeRae

Unusual Breakup Reasons

When it comes to reasons for ending relationships, RaeRae shared something quite candid – breaking up with someone because they didn’t “fit physically” as a couple. Not in terms of physical intimacy, but in terms of how they looked together. Bo explained it wasn’t about what others would think, but a personal sense that they just weren’t visually compatible as a pair. It’s funny how intuition works sometimes!

The Quirks We Remember

The strange habits question brought out some amusing memories. Bo recalled an ex who spontaneously adopted pet turtles without properly researching their care, leading to an unfortunate aquarium smell situation (those who’ve had turtle tanks know exactly what we’re talking about!).

RaeRae shared a story about an ex who obsessively kept every receipt they’d ever received for years, stored haphazardly in plastic bags. The intention was good – keeping records “just in case” – but the execution made finding anything nearly impossible!

Being Compared to… Cats?

One of the lightest moments came when Bo shared how multiple exes had compared them to a cat, which was particularly confusing since Bo is allergic to cats and hadn’t spent much time around them!

“You’re such a cat.” Or “You look like my cat.” Or “Why do you act like a cat?” And me… I’m allergic to cats, I’ve never had a cat!” – Bo

RaeRae’s bizarre moment wasn’t directly from an ex, but from an ex’s white South African parents who bizarrely claimed they were “more African” than RaeRae – an uncomfortable comment made even worse by being said in a public setting.

Dating Disappointments

Bo’s worst date story revealed some vulnerability – an ex who rarely stayed overnight finally planned a special date including dinner and spending the night, only to abruptly change their mind on the bus ride home. For Bo, who was in their first serious relationship at the time, this sudden change of heart was particularly confusing and hurtful.

RaeRae, on the other hand, couldn’t recall any particularly terrible dating experiences – either because she’s been fortunate or because she’s quick to end situations that aren’t working!

What We Keep

We both admitted to keeping certain items from past relationships, though our approaches differ slightly. Bo has kept practical gifts like a durable bathroom speaker and some jewelry, without attaching sentimental value to them.

RaeRae confessed to keeping a small collection of mementos like love letters and postcards, not out of lingering attachment but as markers of personal growth and chapters in her life journey. As she put it, these items help her reflect on “the person that you were and you start reflecting on your evolution.”

“It’s gotten me one step further to learning much more about myself.” – RaeRae

What We Learned

What struck us while filming this episode was how differently people can process and remember past relationships. Some focus on the practical lessons, others on the emotional growth, and some (like us) find value in both.

Perhaps most surprisingly, neither of us could recall any major lies or deceptions from our exes – something we both recognized as fortunate!

Your Turn!

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Would you have used your “pass” on any of these questions? What’s the strangest habit you’ve encountered in a relationship? Share in the comments below or drop us a message on Instagram.

And if you enjoyed this peek into our past relationships, make sure to subscribe to our channel and catch the full episode for all the details and reactions we couldn’t fit here!

Until next time, RaeRae & Bo

PS: Don’t forget, some episodes are in English and some in French – we’re keeping it bilingual around here!
PPS: if you want more to read/watch, here it is: https://www.raeraeandbo.com/beyond-monogamy-our-journey-as-a-black-queer-couple/